Twenty-five Tips to Deal with the Impossible Person in Your Life

by | Nov 8, 2017

 

How to deal with difficult people

We all have at least one person in our life who at the most inopportune times descends into our space like a thunder burst on a beautiful sunny day.

I see you rolling your eyes! Sadly, he or she is either a relative or a co-worker. Though we try, there seems to be no way to avoid them.

 

It is possible to learn to roll with the punches! The Lord says there is always a way of escape from temptation so you may bear what you are going through.

 

I hear you laughing. It is impossible to escape this person, you say.
Hmm! Maybe escape from the person isn’t the key. What if that person was put there by the Lord?

Twenty-five Tips to Deal with an Impossible Person 

1. Move towards the person with thanksgiving – not dread

To thank the Lord the moment you see that person, and before you see them is even better – you move out of the reactivity of the reptilian brain into the prefrontal cortex where you are able to think clearly. So be thankful. Even if it is just because you aren’t with them 24/7.

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2. Become aware of what you do that triggers them

Once they are triggered, nothing you do will be right.  Often a single word, subject, or simple action will set him/her off. No matter how innocent your remark may have been, they are acting out of their amygdala. Their perception will be you are against them. Avoid that word, subject, or action and your encounter will be less stressful.

3. Know your own hot buttons

Are you being triggered by them? It is wise to know your own hot buttons. Be quick to practice deep breathing the moment they appear around the corner. That will help you remain capable of thinking clearly, even if they are ranting.

4. Pray for that person

It is amazing how our attitudes begin to change when we pray for someone.

5. Be quick to forgive or to ask forgiveness

Failing to forgive the person who hurts us, negatively impacts brain health. Over time, it creates fear, anger, bitterness, and even illness. Quickly take the person off your hook of judgment and give him/her to the Lord. Then speak blessing over them.

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6. Learn to set boundaries, and keep them!

One reason we struggle with certain people is they violate our boundaries. When we fail to take responsibility for our own choice to allow them to violate our boundary, we become resentful. For your sanity. Set healthy boundaries. They are vital for healthy interpersonal relationships.

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7. Learn to be a good listener

Often intrusive behavior hides deep pain in the person you struggle with. Learn to ask thoughtful questions that help shift their focus from being controlling to engaging in genuine conversation.

8. Develop empathy

Ask the Lord to help you see that person as created in His image, a person of great value.

9. Cast your cares upon the Lord

Cast that person on the Lord. You will be hurt and move into sin if you try to carry that burden on your own shoulders, while He is able to carry them without being harmed.

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10. Be careful what you share with this person

Don’t give them information that allows them to gain control over you.

Ten More Tips to Deal with an Impossible Person 

11. Avoid gossip

Especially with or about this person.

12. You don’t have to like this person.

But Jesus has said you are to love them! Demonstrate compassion.
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13. Develop outside interests where this person will never be present

If you live or work with this person, but also spend your social time with them, it engenders stress and steals your joy. Make other friends. Go places where you can enjoy yourself without fear of encountering them.

14. Show mercy

Our tendency is to judge. The moment we do, we move under that person’s aura of control. Giving mercy and thinking the best helps us maintain healthy emotional boundaries.

15. Trust your gut

The Lord speaks to you through your intuition. If you have a check in your spirit – don’t enter that room, don’t place yourself where you will be exposed to that person’s censure or dominance.

16. Respect yourself!

Don’t open yourself to situations where you will act against your own dignity.
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17. Give yourself permission to say No!

You don’t have to do everything that you are asked to do. Develop the habit of asking the Lord’s permission. If He says no – that lets you off their hook of judgment.

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18. Don't take on false responsibility

You are responsible for your choices and your tasks. You are not responsible for the other person’s choices. Don’t pick up their uncompleted work or accept blame for their choices.

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19. Don’t allow the person to draw you into their anger

Some people are bullies and seek to transfer their anger onto you to torment you, to make you look bad. If you come under their anger, it allows them to dominate you. Take deep breaths. Ask Jesus to be LORD of your emotions so you are able to respond with calmness and not fear. 

20. Celebrate Life!

Look for opportunities to to show yourself and others kindness. Engage in little acts of kindness that enable you to embrace life with joy in your heart.

5 Mores Tips!

21. Avoid Feelings of Being Powerless

Find something positive you can do to help you avoid feeling powerless in their presence. If they sense you are powerless – it gives them permission to control you.
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22. Gently respond to impertinent questions by asking a question

When people sought to put trap the Lord Jesus, He did not answer. Instead, He would ask questions of His questioners, rather than answer an impertinent or wrong question that would give them power to abuse.

23. Know what are the important battles

Then stand quietly and confront in love.

24. Know that appeasement never works

It merely empowers the abuser to cause more harm.

25. As far as possible, seek to live at peace with all men

Remember peace at any price is not peace.

 

You are of infinite value. The Lord does not want you to be used like a doormat, be abused, or have your dignity stolen.

He does allow adversity in our life to help us develop boundaries, to strengthen and purify us, and to draw us closer to Himself. Let this difficult person in your life be used to make you quick to run to the Lord for comfort, for help, for encouragement, and for cleansing.

 

You are not powerless! You have a choice. The Lord bless and encourage your heart.

 

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