Will I Ever Feel Safe After a Divorce?

by | Sep 25, 2018

She Was Safe

On Shabbat, a Messianic rabbi prepared to give an Aaronic blessing over us as we all gathered in a circle. He and his wife stood in the front, just outside the circle. She had moved to his side and he protectively gathered her to himself, underneath his Tallit, completely covering her with his shawl.

I was fascinated. All that was visible were her hands, trustingly placed on his chest as she leaned into his embrace. She went willingly and with confidence. When a person has been abused or disrespected, such a position would be frightening, the body tight with fear. But this lady was content and at peace.

She stayed nestled against his breast, under the shadow of his wing. She knew she was safe and loved, and so she rested. She didn’t need to see anything or anyone. She wasn’t worried about what people might think nor did she need to maintain control. She fully surrendered herself, hidden under the shawl, at home in the embrace of her husband, without even a particle of rebellion or withholding of herself.

When she came out from under the Tallit, a joyful contentment radiated from her. She was not demeaned by her surrender, rather she had been exalted into a high place, a place belonging exclusively to her.

My eyes welled with tears as I remembered when divorce proceedings were begun against me. Seeking a safe place, I camped out in Isaiah 54.

For your Maker is your husband,

The LORD of hosts is His name;

And your Redeemer is the Holy One of Israel;

He is called the God of the whole earth.

For the LORD has called you

Like a woman forsaken and grieved in spirit,

Like a youthful wife when you were refused,

Says your God. (Isaiah 54:5-6)

Marriage Covenant After a Divorce

These words in Isaiah gave me courage in the midst of my despair, shame, and grief. The Lord, knowing everything about me, had set His affection upon me. As my Maker, He chose me to be in covenant relationship with Himself.

I remember weeping on my knees at the side of my bed, imagining myself in a marriage ceremony with my Lord Jesus.

From that point, my identity in Christ as His beloved has solidified and grown deep roots – establishing me in the embrace of Yeshua, a safe place I had never previously experienced.

Will He Be Master or Ishi?

That Shabbat reference was made to God, as husband, who had entered into covenant relationship with His people in Hosea 2:16. God’s people, who formerly called Him “my Lord”, a term of respect, would come to call Him “Ishi”, my Man – depicting a relationship of sweetness and love.

I don’t want to get into the theology disputing the promises to Israel as not being relevant for the Church. Suffice it to say, in Christ, Gentiles were grafted into the olive tree; as a child of God, those promises are relevant to you and I as believers in Yeshua.

The challenge was given. Will you trust God and move forward with Him, even though the consequence would be suffering, with the possible loss of all things?

I have grappled with that question many times over the years. Walking in a deep valley, it seems nothing can eclipse the pain you are currently experiencing. Through the tears, as you cling to the Lord, it is only by faith, you say, “Though you slay me, Lord, still I will trust you.”

By faith, you begin to give thanks and the Comforter comforts your heart. But as the journey continues, there always seems to be another even more painful experience in your path.

The pain of divorce is overwhelming.

  • Will the pain ever end?
  • Will I ever feel safe after the divorce?
  • Will I be able to trust again?

To ask a divorcee to enter a covenant relationship, knowing she will suffer is terrifying.

Added to that, the 21st century believer doesn’t have the mindset that prepares him or her to suffer and still trust.

When the question was given, I agreed. But then I began to hurt. What would that mean? Would it bring more suffering to my children? A pain greater than any I have ever experienced?

As I prayed, I realized. I have always felt safe with the Lord Jesus. To see Him as Husband is comforting for He offers me companionship and hope. But it has been a process of deep inner healing for me to feel safe with God, the Father.

To think of God as husband was frightening. You see, husbands have even greater power to wound than fathers do. I believe God is good. But to enter covenant relationship with Him as a husband, knowing there would be suffering, I needed to know if He would be a kind husband. I had to know I would be safe!

The Lord is so sweet. He knows our hearts; in His tenderness, He gives us exactly what we need to nourish and comfort our heart.

As the day ended, He provided a great blessing. There in front of my eyes was a beautiful picture of a husband who protected, nurtured, and covered his wife.

That’s when I understood. A man can provide a safe harbor for his wife to rest, even when she can’t see. How much greater is the safe harbor Almighty God provides as I come under His tallit? There is safety after divorce!

The secret is as I rest under His tallit, I come under the shadow of His wing. A place I already love.

Isaiah ends the chapter about God, the Husband, with a precious promise I have claimed many times.

“No weapon formed against you shall prosper,
And every tongue which rises against you in judgment
You shall condemn.
This is the heritage of the servants of the LORD,
And their righteousness is from Me,”
Says the LORD. (Isaiah 54:17).

Dear Heart.

I know you have experienced pain. You have suffered deep wounds from your spouse, your father, or someone close to you.

But Almighty God is not a man. He does not lie, for He is truth! He does not rule with harshness, for He is Ishi! With tender love He beckons you to come rest under His tallit, where as a loving husband, He protects you from danger. No matter what happens, you are safe under His wing, for He takes the brunt of any attack against you.

No one wants to suffer. Yet, suffering is part of life. When it comes, may you be found underneath His tallit, nestled against His breast. There you will be safe from the onslaught of the evil one. This is your heritage!

The Lord bless you.

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