Abuse Doesn’t Have the Authority to Shape Your Identity

by Mar 7, 2019

Power Vs. Authority

Abuse has power to shape you but it doesn’t have authority to determine who you become. Abuse says you have no value. Tha’s a lie. Abuse has no authority to tell you who you are.

My dear friend, you are so much more than what happened to you. Are you ready to walk out of this limiting belief?

We’ve learned gratitude has power to alter your DNA. But did you know your beliefs impact your DNA? It’s true.

Because Father God loves you, He has given you the ability to change what your brain believes is truth through learning to reprogram your mind. If you reject lies and speak the truth, it literally changes your DNA – which impacts your whole life.

God created you in His own image and He gave you parents to protect, nurture, love and to teach you His truths. As a result, you were shaped by what your parents and others did.

Abuse Has No Authority

Right from Genesis 2, when the Lord placed Adam  in the Garden of Eden, He gave mankind freedom of personal choice.

In Revelation 3:20 the Lord says He stands at the door of your heart. IF you choose to open the door, He will come in and be with you.

Truth: He respects you and allows you to thinks or believe, or say, or do anything you choose.

Because abuse and abusers are infinitely smaller than God – no one and nothing has authority to rule your life. Not even abuse!

Your Brain

Truth: You are wonderful! And God loves you.

The Lord says He tenderly shaped you, weaving together your cells and genes, your body, soul, and spirit – into a beautiful precious you.

You were fearfully and wonderfully made! Deep in your soul, you know this is true. Nothing was wrong with your core identity. You are the Heavenly Father’s masterpiece; your birth gave Him great joy.

Sadly, we live in a fallen world; our parents made mistakes. In their woundedness, they wounded us. Some parents died and some chose to be absent. Many were impatient and neglectful, others were very abusive.

As a child, your little brain was forming; it wasn’t fully developed until you were at least 25! Your brain’s job was to keep you safe but it wasn’t equipped to do abstract thinking. And so your brain misinterpreted things as abuse was written into your amygdala and hippocampus and caused your brain to do what felt like it protected you. As that happened, you were taught something was intrinsically wrong with you.

Abuse stunts the brain. Yet, your brain has the wonderful potential to grow, to develop, and to learn new things. But your will decides if your brain unlearns false beliefs and replaces lies with truth.


Abuse was written in your DNA.

But I have good news. You have authority to change your DNA. You can do simple things to help your DNA flourish – like laughing, or singing, or being grateful.

It’s exciting! As you begin to change your DNA, you begin to take your authority back.

You say, yes, but at  my core I am bad, stupid, guilty, shameful, ugly, unwanted.

That’s a false identity! 

As you embrace what God says about you, you take the authority He gave you and begin to remove the power abuse wields to hold you into a false identity.

I am sure you will agree. Every child deserves to be treated with respect. No child is responsible for what was done to them.

What difference does that make to you? It means you aren’t guilty. You are not responsible for bad things that happened to you.

Think about it. Bad things cannot make a precious child bad. To believe bad things made you bad is to accept a false identity.

Worthy of Respect

What can you do?

Tell yourself the truth. When bad happened to you, did you make that bad thing happen? Did you cause your dad to lie to you, to walk away and not love you? Did you cause your mother to resent you? Did you deserve to be betrayed by one you trusted? Did you deserve to be sexually violated? Of course not!

The truth is bad things happened to you. That doesn’t mean YOU are bad. Listen to your heart – it is trying to say what happened was unfair and wrong.

Yes, you may believe you can’t do anything right. That you don’t deserve to be loved or respected because you are a failure. But that isn’t true.

You are not a failure. You are not worthy of being stolen from or treated with disrespect. Why? Because you are God’s creation. You are valuable.

Sovereignty of Choice

Consequently, you have the ability to overcome the false identity of abuse. The Lord gave you sovereignty of choice. You have the right to say NO to anything that diminishes you.

You have the right to choose what you believe and what you refuse to believe. Choose to learn to love and respect and forgive yourself.

Yes, you heard me correctly! The hardest person in the world for you to forgive is you. You are not guilty of being born. You are not guilty of falling down. You are not guilty of being violated by a narcissist who used you to satisfy their own evil desires.

True Identity

Dear heart. You have sovereignty to choose. You can choose which thoughts you allow in your mind.

Find a Bible verse that encourages you. Choose it as your truth. Memorize it. Meditate (mutter) – speak it often to reprogram your mind.

Lies are like viruses. Insidious and hiding in the dark, they grow and cause destruction. In the same way a virus messes up a computer requiring you to reprogram it – so lies will mess up your brain and your life.

It is time to reprogram your brain with the truth of the wonder of who you are.

Scripture says your identity is hidden with Christ in God. You are beautiful. You are of inestimable value.

You are not bad. Even if you do bad things – the Heavenly Father sees you as valuable and loved – not as bad. Things are bad. Fruit may go bad. But you are a person with dignity and value.

Truth: You are not what happened to you and you are not your failures or your sin.

Be Encouraged

The Lord said, “I have loved you with an everlasting love. With unfailing love I have drawn you.” Jeremiah 31:3

It is time to take your authority back. Find your center in Christ. Choose who you want to become. Choose life. Take the first step to set out on the journey to become who God created you to be.

Dear heart, embrace this truth. You are the Beloved of the Heavenly Father. Let His love cover you, cleanse you, heal you, and transform you to become like Jesus.

A Short Video

To hear a short video about abuse becoming our identity, you can click on this. Don’t forget to join me next week as I share more on overcoming abuse and its wounding.

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