You are Not Covered in Shame

It’s crazy how often we think God is being mean or unfair to us, that He finds pleasure in watching us squirm and struggle. But isn’t true!

God hates evil. He doesn’t hate you. He’s not angry with you but He is angry about sin done against you. He desires for sin to be brought into the light and named, so you don’t identify yourself with the abuse.

The Lord is good! He longs for you to be set free from the impact of trauma and abuse. He doesn’t see you covered in shame but views you through eyes of love and goodness.  He smiles tenderly at you.

For you to be able to receive His love and forgiveness and move forward into freedom, He knows you will need to face difficulties where you aren’t in control. 

My dear, when that happens, turn to Him for help. Let Him shine light onto the hidden lies and limiting beliefs holding you captive.

Let me give an example how trauma makes it harder to obey.

Years ago, at Ellel Ministries, USA modular school, I realized I needed to forgive those who had victimized me. When we broke for a time of prayer ministry, I planned to talk with a lady but God instructed me to ask Victor for prayer.

I was upset, thinking God very unkind; no way was I going to ask a man to pray for me! God knew my fears. How could He ask such a difficult thing?

The truth is, the Lord understood the deep father wound I suffered because of my father’s abuse. He also knew the lies I believed about His character locked me into limiting beliefs. Those had to be exposed and broken to be replaced with the truth of who He is.

But God is a gentleman; He allowed me to choose if I would let Him touch my heart. He also gave me the choice to obey Him – and trust He would help me in that difficult moment or to disobey, demanding my own will.

The Lord wants us to engage with Him. Though He is Almighty God, He invites us to express our displeasure, our fear, and even our anger before Him. In fact, He encourages us to work through our emotions in His presence.

Did you know God gives you freedom to dialogue with Him?

I chose to obey. The result was the Holy Spirit spoke words of life to me through a human vessel. He knew I needed to hear several things – spoken directly into my life. 

Things I needed to hear to bring deep healing to my heart, which I think you also need to hear:

• A man grieved about one who was abused.
• A human verbalizing God’s disapproval of abuse and calling it evil. 
• God did not want you to be victimized.
• He was angry at the trauma and abuse you experienced. 
• God grieves for you.  
• God is for you. He is not against you. 
• He is not your enemy. 
• The Lord is not cruel or unfair. 
• He doesn’t hate you or want you to be hurt. 

It took time for the truth to go deep into my heart where the lies I believed were shaken at their core, the limiting beliefs stemming from them were undermined, and I embraced the glorious truth that I am chosen. I am God’s Beloved. 

The Lord knew I also needed to hear Victor say he was sorry, to stand in the gap and take responsibility for evil done to me. I needed a safe place where the focus was shifted off me and put where it belonged.

Men had sinned against me. Now the Lord gave a man who discerned the sin, called it evil, and said I was not responsible for the evil done to me.  

That meant I could stop blaming myself or blaming God for not protecting me.

When the nebulous thing was taken out of the air and named abuse – it undermined Satan’s ability to accuse and shame me for things done against me.

I did not instigate the abuse.

I was the victim.

Violence was done to me; God didn’t hold me responsible.

I am only responsible for my choices.

The same is true for you. God doesn’t hold you responsible for what happened to you. But you are responsible for your responses and reactions.

Victor named the sin and said it should never have happened, lifting the blame off my shoulders. As he stepped between me and the enemy of my soul  – it opened the door to allow light to pour in, giving me freedom to breathe and to think with clarity. I wasn’t to blame, nor was I shameful.

Then Victor did something amazing. He stood in the place of those who sinned against me. Taking responsibility, though he had done nothing wrong, with humility he asked me to forgive him. His action reminds me of the Lord, who became my substitute and died in my place to set me free from the law of sin and death.

Victor was a vessel fit for the Master’s use. Because he had the wisdom and the compassion to allow the Holy Spirit to speak through him, lies I believed came into the light. I was able to verbalize that I forgave my abusers. As I did, I came into agreement with the Holy Spirit; the powers of darkness raging against me lost their power to harass me.

Earlier I thought God was unfair to ask such a difficult thing of me. In reality, as I obeyed, broken and covered in shame, unable to appropriate the wonderful love of the Heavenly Father, He used a man to speak into my life, touch my broken heart, shatter false beliefs, and unlock the prison cell where I lay imprisoned.

The Heavenly Father, in His mercy, used a man as His chosen vessel of honor to cover me with His love. But I had to be obedient for the Heavenly Father to bless  and undermine the curse brought upon me by vessels given over to hate who had been used by the father of lies.

Dear Heart,

You don’t have to fight to protect yourself from the Lord. He wants to be your protector.

I know. Obedience feels dangerous. But feelings lie to you.

Just as in a prison, there are many doors and each has a different lock, so it is with the prison caused by trauma and abuse. Obedience is an important key giving access to where you are imprisoned.

Obedience opens the door, giving Father, Son, and Holy Spirit permission to enter and begin the work of healing your broken heart. 

Choose to obey when the Holy Spirit whispers to your heart. Even if it feels dangerous. Know the Holy Spirit is gentle. The danger doesn’t come from Him.

My dear, take that first step to obedience. Are you afraid? Don’t run away from what frightens you. Go forward in boldness!

You are deeply valued. And you are never alone!