Is Encouragement Possible in the Deep Place of Loneliness?

by Mar 12, 2020

Take courage. Loneliness need not have the last word. There is an antidote. You can conquer this insidious poison. 

Loneliness kills. Studies conducted over several decades were thorough; each concluded loneliness is bad for your health. Once loneliness takes root, it’s like a poison that paralyzes and squeezes the life and joy out of your heart. Given time,  it becomes all-pervasive in its impact on your life, your mindsets, your ability to think.

I know this is discouraging but stay with me here. 

 You and I have a deep need for connection with others. We become more and more isolated with the breakdown of the family unit, technology, relocation, and loss of friends and loved ones as we age.

While many articles are available on the causes of loneliness, let’s refocus on some tools to empower you to reclaim your life. You have authority to take that first step to move out of loneliness and move forward in your quest for connection.

Yes. Connection is a quest. A journey. It doesn’t just happen but requires you to fight for your life. If you aren’t willing to invest in you – then chuck this aside. If you desire connection, read on!

Help Me Understand Why I’m Lonely…

Understanding is an excellent place to begin.

Loneliness takes root in the brain with a thought. One thought multiplies and reproduces faster than the proverbial rabbits in your backyard. 

Thoughts clamor for your attention. If they are loud enough, insistent enough, or touch an area of wounding or need in your life, you are overwhelmed by them. Soon, they demand your constant attention. 

Every single one of your thoughts matter. You are more than a body and a soul, you are also a spirit being and live in a spiritual Universe. 

Your thoughts matter because there are unclean spirits that prey on your mind, seeking to gain entrance. Once they get your attention and you listen to them, you come into agreement with them and interactwith them. They occupy space in your thought life. Their goal is to deceive you so you believe their words are your thoughts.

I hear you saying; “I don’t understand.” 

Unclean spirits are lonely. They speak in your voice saying, “I feel so alone.” “I feel empty.” “No one cares about me.” You think it is you speaking. When you engage with those alien thoughts and dialogue with them, they churn in your mind and gain power to smother your ability to think with clarity.

The reality is you hurt. 

You experienced a loss that negatively impacted your life. 

It matters because you matter. 

It’s healthy to give yourself permission to be present with the pain you are experiencing.

But feelings feel more real than truth. You cannot take them at face value for they lie to you. Please know feelings do not predicate reality. Their presence indicates something deep inside you is struggling to find expression.

A Better Way

Your feelings are not you.

Instead of talking to your feelings, invite the Lord to expose the root behind that feeling. If you do, then the enemy loses its ability to deceive you. As you freely grieve, name and process your loss, you are able to take responsibility for your choices and to engage with the Lord. 

He desires you to be honest. Express your true emotions. You might not feel there is anger inside, but where there is grief, there will be anger. The anger needs to find healthy expression.

As you deal with issues of forgiveness and loss, the Lord covers you with His love. In communion with Him, you will experience your heart’s desire for connection and acceptance. He will heal your broken heart and fill you with His peace.

The enemy seeks to divert you so you don’t turn to the Lord for comfort. He shoots poisonous and overwhelming feelings into your mind, to take you captive.

Mired in thoughts and feelings of fear, loneliness, depression or guilt, you are no longer in control of your life. Those toxic thoughts allow the enemy to sabotage your life, to isolate you, and to kill your joy.

What Is an Open Door?

Great question!

Life is full of open doors.

For example, a loved one dies. That opens the door to deep pain and grief. What you do with those open doors will set you up for connection, or for isolation.

Loneliness is a spiritual open door that gives the enemy legal permission to assault you. To embrace loneliness is a choice. It feels real and logical and right. But it’s a choice if you open the door to listen or bow before loneliness.

Instead choose Christ the Door. Fill your mind with the Word of God, meditate on it, pray and speak the Word. As you do, the Holy Spirit will comfort you and enable you to discern truth. And the Living Word (Jesus) will enter the door of your heart and fill you. 

The Word brings life. And life brings hope.

When you saturate yourself in the Word, you invite the Lord into your mind. He is Life! And where Christ and the Holy Spirit reign – there is joy unspeakable flowing out of sweet communion. 

Dear Heart

God is good. He loves you deeply. 

Jesus walked through every sorrow, pain, or trauma you will ever experience. He understands your pain.

The good news is He conquered loneliness. There on the Cross He experienced horrid isolation and He defeated it.

It will be a battle to conquer loneliness. But know when you yield to loneliness, it opens the door to lying spirits playing with your mind.

Fight for your own life. You are worth it. Take that first step and choose to open the door to Life! 

“Today I have given you the choice between life and death, between blessings and curses. Now I call on heaven and earth to witness the choice you make. Oh, that you would choose life, so that you and your descendants might live!” (Deut 30:19).

This is the first of a series on Loneliness. Watch for the blog next week on lessons from King David.


Instead choose Christ the open Door. Fill your mind with the Word of God. As you do, the Holy Spirit will comfort you.

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