Why Verbal Affirmations Don’t Help You Stand Strong

by Apr 25, 2019

It is wise to daily speak words of affirmation over yourself.

It is especially important to speak words of life if you have the habit of thinking or speaking negative and even insulting words about yourself.

One Problem

The wonderful affirmations may momentarily make you feel good, they are not magical and will be worth very little if a lie is buried beneath them.

You can bury the past. When you do, you bury lies with it. Lies can never be buried dead. Unseen, they will grow deeper and stronger and hold you into confusion and victimhood.

For years I would tell myself,

“I am valuable.”

“I have dignity.”

I am fearfully and wonderfully made.”

Sadly, those affirmations were head knowledge. When I faced abuse, they would crumble into the dust. You see, they weren’t heart knowledge and so had no power to change how I thought or reacted to life.

There was a huge problem. I was unable to appropriate the truth and wonder of who I was in Christ because my brain was carrying on its own inner dialogue.

Does this sound familiar to you?

Limiting Beliefs

My brain operated out of limiting beliefs buried deep inside me.

So, when difficult things happened and I said God’s lovely words about myself, my brain responded, “Really? I know you. Who are you trying to fool? You’re a failure. You are bad!”

That was the identity I walked with. Daily I filled my mind with the truth of Scripture, yet my experiential identity said I was intrinsically a bad person.

You see, I had never grappled with lies and limiting beliefs buried deep inside. In fact, I didn’t have a clue they were the foundation of my identity and hindered my being transformed by the Holy Spirit.

You Can Choose Your Beliefs

Whatever you ask the Father in name of Jesus, He will do (John 16:23).

That is a precious promise! Ask the Heavenly Father to bring any limiting beliefs that shape your identity into the light.

To believe a lie, even though buried deep inside you, will undermine any truth you think you believe.

The bottom line is lies actually give your abuser power over you to cause you harm.

Those limiting beliefs also steal your authority to stand in Christ.

Who Are You?

This is a crucial question to ponder.

You believe your life was changed by the Holy Spirit. You have been cleansed by the blood of the Lamb. You have been born again as a child of the Heavenly Father. The Spirit has seated you in heavenly places with Christ Jesus. That is your true identity.

But although you know all the right things, if you have a victim mindset, your false beliefs erode your true identity and empower others to abuse you.

When facing someone abusive, it is imperative to respond by remembering who you are now. Breathe deeply, ask the Lord for protection, and choose to stand in the truth of who you are in Christ.

Normally when we face abuse, overwhelmed by the hatefulness of the moment, we react. We forget the Lord gave us His authority to stand in the face of abuse.

It is possible to stand with authority even hit by verbal, mental, spiritual, emotional or physical attacks.

The secret is being grounded in Christ. His life in you enables you to stand in authority and victory.

Until you appropriate your true identity as a new creature in Christ, you will be unable to stand in who you really.

Why? Because limiting beliefs hold you captive and frame your reality.

What You Can Do

  • Ask the Lord to bring lies or limiting beliefs into the light.
  • Confront the lie with the truth of the Word of God.
  • Choose to reject the lies and accept God’s truth as your truth.
  • Ask Jesus to forgive you for believing a lie. Ask Him to cleanse you & wash you with His blood.
  • Forgive the one responsible for teaching you that lie.
  • Break the ungodly soul ties holding you to that lie.
  • Allow the Holy Spirit to reprogram your mind and your life with a new paradigm.

You are fearfully and wonderfully made. You are chosen. Your identity is hidden with Christ in God and you are seated in heavenly places.

It’s possible to stand with authority in the face of abuse.

Dear Heart,

Journal about your transaction with the Lord. When the enemy tries to accuse you and draw you back into the lie, and he will! Remember the transaction you made with the Lord.

You have a story. It is important.

You didn’t accidentally fall into a victim mindset. Something happened. There’s a story behind what shaped you and made you who you are today.

I encourage you to begin to journal. Along with journaling, take time to begin to write down your story. Give yourself permission to grieve what you lost as a result of believing that lie.

Prayer to find healing in your life:

Father God, please help me choose life.


I invite Jesus to be Lord of me, body, soul, and spirit; mind, will, and emotions.


I give the Holy Spirit permission to bring the hidden things of darkness into the light and show me the lies I believe. 


Father, I reject (name the lie)___________ and ask you to forgive me for coming into agreement with the enemy in this area. Please cleanse me. Help me forgive __________ for teaching me this lie.


Please show me what triggers me so I may respond in the truth of your faithful love.


Deliver me from the powers of darkness that hold me captive. 


I am a new creation in Christ. Help me stand in that identity. Help me remember: I overcome the enemy of my soul by the word of my testimony and the precious blood of the Lamb!


Father, thank you for seating me with Christ in heavenly places. Help me live in the reality of that truth.


Please seal the work of the Holy Spirit into my heart that I might walk in freedom and honor you with my life.


I ask in the name of Yeshua Hamaschiach. Amen.

May the Lord bless you in your journey to move from victimhood to being a survivor, to being an overcomer.

I’d love to hear from you. Please feel free to share your story or questions or concerns with me.

If you’d like to hear how Jesus stood with authority in the face of abuse, watch the video here.

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