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How To Find a Secure Hope

In what do you place your hope? Perhaps it's success. A great career. Making a fortune. Being loved or having children. If it is something transient, you have placed your hope in something false that can crash and burn. In my thirties, I felt full of hope. Married,...

How To Rebuild A Strong Boundary To Keep You Safe

Sometimes life tears down the boundary fences that keep out danger. Unless we are proactive and rebuild a healthy fence, we won’t feel safe or find courage to embrace the abundant life. When I moved to Nebraska, my life was in shambles. In the midst of some difficult...

4 Things Abuse Teaches and How To Overcome the Victim Mindset

Abuse and the Victim Mindset Abuse is a teacher that lays a foundation of lies and limiting beliefs. Those beliefs control your thoughts, cause you to self-reject, teach you to be a victim, and dictate all your reactions. Abuse is powerful. There's good news! You have...

How To Find a Secure Hope

In what do you place your hope? Perhaps it's success. A great career. Making a fortune. Being loved or having children. If it is something transient, you have placed your hope in something false that can crash and burn. In my thirties, I felt full of hope. Married,...

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Signs a Relationship is Becoming Toxic

If you are in a relationship where you're not accepted for who you are; you aren't treated with respect; your boundaries are ignored; you are being manipulated, mocked, humiliated, and even victimized – you need to know – the Lord doesn’t approve of what is happening....

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It’s Ok To Be Where You Are

A Rescue Mission I want to share a secret.  For you to get unstuck or be set free from whatever is holding you in bondage – you have to learn to be where you are – in the moment. And being present, it is important to be able to open your mouth and ask for help when...

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Transformation: What It Is and Isn’t

Transformation Have you ever wondered what transformation is about? Or pondered why it has become the buzzword among life coaches and public speakers? In Latin, trans means across or through and forma means to form. To transform means there is change that cuts across...

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In Honor of True Friendship

Loss of a True Friend On February 7th, 1979, my beloved child, Charissa died, a victim of SIDS. Since that day, many I loved have died. Tragically, the arch enemy cancer has stolen the lives of many of my friends and family, including my grandmother, Aunt Winnie, Aunt...

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When God Doesn’t Do What You Want

Each morning I go outside with a cup of hot water and walk barefoot through the grass to a little hill facing the woods behind my home. In the bright morning light and fresh air, I talk with the Lord. One morning I heard a noise in the undergrowth in front of me....

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Bird in a Cage

Depths of a Dungeon Sandy lay slumped against the dank wall in the dark cell, deep in a dungeon no one except her tormentor knew about. Her hair was straggly and tangled, her clothes torn and filthy, her heart irreparably broken. As she tried to change position, a...

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The Power of Trauma to Trap You In The Past

Trauma wields great power In the moment of impact – the impact of steel as a truck slammed into your car. The impact of a hand raised in violence. The impact of rape. The impact of early childhood trauma. The impact of any other type of violence leaves one powerless....

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Have You Given Yourself Permission to Grieve?

The loss of a parent is the loss of the past. The loss of a spouse is the lost of the present. The loss of a child is the loss of the future. In your loss, have you experienced this to be true? As I got into the car the other day to go to the market, I heard the last...

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6 Topics. 6 Videos. 9 Minutes.

Questions Over the last week, I've shared videos to Facebook on hot topics. Because some of you aren't on social media, I wanted to make sure you also had access to this content!  I'm excited to share the videos with you, which were just uploaded to Vimeo. Each video...

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A Prayer for 2019 | Video Blog To Encourage You

Blessings of Peace Just as Jesus stilled the turbulent Galilean sea, may the Lord quiet your heart. In the midst of the turbulence, may Jesus be your peace.  In this week's episode of 5 Minutes to Transformation, (which is under 3 minutes), I pray for you and speak a...

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Are You Stuck? My Top Tip for the New Year VLOG

Are You Feeling Stuck? If you’re wondering how to make 2019 great, you’ll love my top tip to start the New Year strong. This is my last blog for the year! I appreciate you for taking time to read or listen to what I share. The times you have also responded and shared...

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A Christmas Message | Video Blog

Dear Friend, Only 5 days until Christmas! Some of us love Christmas and experience great joy simply at the thought of that day. Others find it to be a lonely and difficult time of the year. No matter your situation or the struggles you face, may the wonder of Christ,...

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Do You Ever Engage in Imaginary Conversations?

A World You Can Control Do you ever engage in imaginary conversations where you become a victim? I am sure you will quickly answer no. But if you are like most of humanity, then you regularly engage in such conversations. You know. The kind where you were walking down...

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You Can Break the Cycle of Abuse

Break the Cycle of Abuse If you have been victimized, you don’t believe you are worthy of respect. You probably don’t even respect yourself. This leads to a fairy tale mindset where you imagine scenarios where someone comes and rescues you. Living in your imagination...

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How To Overcome Perfectionism

Perfect You don’t have to be perfect. I know you don’t believe me. I didn’t believe it either. That was before I learned how to overcome perfectionism. As a child I desperately tried to be perfect. Longing for affirmation, I modeled my behavior by what I had heard...

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Jonathan Edwards Book Review

Years ago I was introduced to Jonathan Edwards when a young man quoted from “Sinners in the Hands of an Angry God”. My internal safety system went on high alert for I believed God was an angry, cruel old man up in the skies longing to catch someone – especially me –...

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How to Set Boundaries for Godly Sexuality

God wired us for sex. He wired us to find pleasure in it! If you are human, you were created to find pleasure in sex. Juxtaposed with pleasure, God established boundaries for the expression of sexual needs and desires within healthy relationships. Sex is to be between...

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Who is the Gatekeeper of Your Memories?

Just Get Over It! From childhood, we were taught to stuff our emotions. As tears slid down your face, perhaps you were told, “Men don’t cry!” Or, “It didn’t mean anything, he was drunk and didn’t know what he was doing.” Or “Good girls don’t get raped.” Or “Christians...

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Animal Cracker Jesus

Your Own Personal Jesus We love Jesus. We happily sing about Him being the Lion. That thrills us; makes us feel spiritual, giving us a sense of power. Lions are intimidating. Wise is the person who treats a lion with respectful fear. But as we approach Jesus Christ,...

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In Honor of Fathers

A Hiding Place I first began to imagine the Heavenly Father as a kind Father while I was reading Corrie ten Boom’s, The Hiding Place back in the '70's. Corrie’s father was a safe place for Corrie to go to and share her heart. In some ways, as I read that book, because...

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Find New Life by the Breath of the Spirit

Birth Birthdays are a wonderful event. A chance to celebrate life. Everyone loves a celebration. Last week I celebrated my second birth. This Saturday I will celebrate the day when I was first born! The first time you were born was a wonderful event, celebrated by the...

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Why is it so hard for me to rest in God?

Is It Hard For You to Be Quieted By His Love? One morning as I was praying outside, I heard a rustling noise. A mother dove and her chick appeared, walking through the grass. As I watched, I was transfixed by the spiritual lesson unfolding before me as the baby bird...

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The Story of 5 Trees and What They Taught Me

A Tree of Safety When I was about six, my brother Lea taught me to climb a huge tree, we called it the cigar tree – for it had seed pods that looked like cigars. Lea would lift me up, show me where to put my hands and feet, then descend behind me and place my feet in...

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A Mother’s Day Prayer

What do you face as a Mother? Mother’s Day is a special day of the year. A day of celebration of life. A day of joy. But the reality is many of us carry deep grief that threatens to overwhelm our broken heart as we shed secret tears in the night.  Whatever you face as...

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About Barbara

As a former nurse, missionary, rape victim advocate, and mentor, Barbara has experienced and seen the effects of trauma and violence that limits one’s freedom to move forward in victory.

Her passion is to encourage others to retrain their brain so they can see life in a fresh way. She challenges each person to “Choose Life!”

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What Do You Struggle With?

We each have our own struggles. If you have a topic you’d like me to write on, I’d love to hear your thoughts.
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