Transformative Blog
Weekly blogs to help you find healing, hope, and freedom
You Are More Than a Shell
What a Beautiful Shell You Have! Each person has a unique shell. From rich creamy brown, pale or golden, black or bronze or albino skin. Masculine. Feminine. Long and slender. Short and petite. Skinny or fat. Blonde, flaming red, luxuriant black, curly or straight...
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How Should We Respond to the Murder of George Floyd?
May 25th our nation was horrified when George Floyd was murdered in cold blood. Let us: Pause. Breathe. And let us thoughtfully cry to God for help. He abhors racial violence. It must stop. Where Do We Begin? First, we need God’s help to move in wisdom to honor the...
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How Can I Change My Brain? Learn Self-Care for Your Dendrites
It’s normal to experience frustration by the actions of others. But to try to change them is a waste of time and energy. Let’s say this upfront. No matter how hard you try, you can’t change anyone. The good news is you can change your brain by altering how you...
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Feel Lonely? This Tip Can Help | COVID-19
Today our world is facing a threat we have never experienced before. The unknown is causing some to be riddled with fear. Others are indifferent. Please do not fear COVID-19. Fear that triggers us will open the door to the enemy of our soul, giving him permission to...
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Lessons from King David on Loneliness and Isolation
David grieved before the Lord. The toxicity flooding his brain and his DNA halted. In God’s presence the loneliness and isolation loosened their grip.
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Is Encouragement Possible in the Deep Place of Loneliness?
Take courage. Loneliness need not have the last word. There is an antidote. You can conquer this insidious poison. Loneliness kills. Studies conducted over several decades were thorough; each concluded loneliness is bad for your health. Once loneliness takes root,...
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Be My Valentine
Valentine’s is upon us. If you are single and like many people, you probably wish you had someone who makes you feel special. I remember Valentine’s Days when I was discouraged because I was alone. Have you had that experience? Being alone feels like something is...
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Never Retired from Love: A Boomer’s Guide to Loving Millennials
God has gifted you in special ways and has taken you on a journey where your life experiences equip you to pray for, affirm, and even mentor a Millennial.
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Fawn Response: The Trauma Response You Probably Don’t Know About
The Fawn Response Though we hate to admit it, deep down, we all engage in some form of people-pleasing. To fawn is to be a people-pleaser. But the fawn response takes people-pleasing to a distinct depth. This little known response to trauma is the fourth survival...
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Your Brain is Lying to You
The Flight Response You are fearfully and wonderfully created. God made you to be sensitive to your environment so you can quickly respond to danger. The flight response is a healthy form of temporary survival where your reptilian brain takes over to keep you safe...
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The Fight Response: Anger Will Not Protect You
STUCK IN THE FIGHT MODE Our focus today is the fight mode. To stand and fight in the face of danger is wise. But to become locked in the fight mode is foolish because it exposes you to danger. Saul, the first king of Israel, chose to embrace anger because it felt...
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How to Overcome the Freeze Response
Do You Freeze Under Stress? While camouflage is part of human warfare, it’s not a skill you or I chose to develop. If we're honest, when apprehensive, fearful of making a wrong choice, or not wanting to hurt anyone, we tend to freeze. Experiencing trauma in childhood,...
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How to Move Into a New Decade With Courage and Confidence
Let’s begin with the small picture before we think about facing a new decade with confidence. Have you ever come to the end of a year feeling you’d accomplished nothing? I have. Trying to figure out what went wrong, I learned the adage is true. “If you aim for...
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God the Father is Your Defender
The Bible says the Father God has a special love for you. He doesn’t judge you. He reaches out to draw you to His heart to a place of safety.
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Are You Ready to Step Into Your Destiny?
Dear Heart Do you feel like you have missed your destiny? There is good news! Don’t be discouraged. In spite of missed opportunities, it is never too late to move forward and step into your destiny. Sorrow and pain precede the glory and fruit of experiencing one’s...
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The Incredible Courage of Ruth
Have You Ever Felt Broken or Destitue? I love Ruth. Grieving, feeling broken and destitute, in vunerability, she demonstrated incredible courage. Her respect and love for her mother-in-law, Naomi, inspired her to make a decision that would impact the world. Listening...
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Loved Like Never Before: Interview With Ken Symington
The Father You Always Wanted God designed you and I with a need to belong, be valued, and be loved. Apart from that foundation, we experience shame. Struggling to survive, we desperately strive to belong, be loved, and be valued for who we are. If we're honest, most...
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What Do You Do When You Are So Depressed You Want to Die?
Celebration The year ended with a delightful trip to Trafalgar Square with friends to celebrate New Years. In order to catch the last train home, we left the busy thoroughfare where hundreds of people still celebrated and took a shortcut down a deserted street. ...
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Negative Thoughts Have a Huge Impact: A Powerful Way to Escape Negativity’s Trap
Negative Thoughts Did you know negative thoughts: Produce a harvest of bad things Bring about the things you dread Produce negative words Cause harm to your body Hold the power of death Bring a curse on you and your loved ones I grew up believing I didn't deserve to...
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5 Simple Keys to Trauma Recovery
Trauma is real. While medical journals say there’s no cure, you have power to move out of victimization by choosing life. If you live in the present and take specific steps to retrain your brain, you will experience resurrection power setting you free from the past....
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Is It Possible to Recover from Trauma?
Trauma creates overwhelming feelings of being out of control. You feel helpless. You experience feelings of being smothered, where you desperately work to find breath to survive. You struggle to cope, unable to find words to describe your constant sense of danger or...
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How to Overcome Limiting Beliefs and Our Desire for Safety
If you've experienced trauma, you've been thrown off balance. Feeling threatened, instinctively you try to hide. Where possible, you run away - even if only in your mind. But you have the power to learn how to overcome limiting beliefs that immobilize you in your...
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You are Not Covered in Shame
Overcoming Limiting Beliefs It’s crazy how often we think God is being mean or unfair to us, that He finds pleasure in watching us squirm and struggle. But isn't true! God hates evil. He doesn’t hate you. He's not angry with you but He is angry about sin done against...
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The Guts and Glory of Forgiveness
Find Healing Through Forgiveness The greatest and most arduous adventures of life I have embarked upon are the mountains of forgiveness. The journey is fraught with perils and difficulty. But each time I reach a pinnacle - the vista is gorgeous. My heart is filled...
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Find Spiritual Healing Through Self-Forgiveness
Do you strive for perfection but always come up a bit short? Feeling like a failure is depressing. I used to believe I was a failure. I thought self-forgiveness was for others, not for me. Deep inside I felt I didn't deserve to be forgiven. I also felt I could never...
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Orphans and Street Children in Mongolia
God Has A Good Plan Years ago, I longed to go to Mongolia but the Lord never took me there. Mongolia is the second largest landlocked country in the world and is located between Russia and China. For 70 years the Soviets occupied the country but today Mongolia is a...
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7 Steps to Freedom Through Forgiveness
Do you long for freedom? Freedom isn’t a given in life. If you don’t take active steps to overcome your chains, you will remain a slave to the past. Let’s look at 7 steps to freedom through forgiveness. When You Bury the Past “You stupid idiot. Can’t you do anything...
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Rise of the Servant Kings: What the Bible Says About Being A Man
In a day of the feminization of men, confusion about the relationship between a husband and his wife, increasing domestic violence, along with the rise of absentee fathers and children struggling with addictions, Rise of the Servant Kings: What the Bible Says About...
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Loving the Fatherless: Interview with Brent Wernsing
Loving the Fatherless What does loving the fatherless mean? The Apostle James said pure religion is to open your eyes and see the fatherless, to care for them, protect them, and help them (James 1:27). Sometimes love is demonstrated just by being with the child,...
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Overcoming the Father Wound and Past Trauma: Interview with Fred Kornis
The Father Wound I had the joy of interviewing Fred Kornis, who has been an evangelist for 45 years. I first met him in the early 1980’s as he taught a few of us some rope tricks to use in street evangelism. Fred has walked through many kinds of trauma; some of the...
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You Don’t Have to Earn God’s Love
The wonderful truth that took me years to learn is you don’t have to earn God’s love or forgiveness! Also, the Heavenly Father loves us to celebrate freedom. Did you know God likes numbers? He had Israel organize life into groups of 7. In the 49th year, which is 7...
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How You Can Experience Freedom From Curses
Words have power to bless or to curse others. The words you speak over yourself have the same power. Negative words bring limitations, insecurity, torment, illness, and even death. The joyful news is there is freedom from every curse. Prepare to Die I was in seventh...
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How Servant Leadership Saved My Life
When I was seven, I nearly drowned. As I wrote this story, I realized my brother exemplified servant leadership. Lea is my hero. His example teaches us how being present in the moment and envisaging the end result will help us move with thoughtfulness and clarity. The...
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A Love Letter to Hurting or Struggling Moms
Dear Mom, You may be a mom whose heart is breaking. You might struggle with exhaustion from caring for a mentally challenged, special needs, or very ill child. Perhaps you lost your child to death or your child was physically taken from you. Your anguish may be...
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What Does Bringing Up the Past Have to Do With Mental Health?
Some people believe bringing up the past is like digging up bones. Fascinating! Some Christians believe to speak of unresolved issues from the past shows lack of faith, is irrelevant because we are new creations in Christ, or feel it’s flat out sin. If you didn't...
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Why Verbal Affirmations Don’t Help You Stand Strong
It is wise to daily speak words of affirmation over yourself. It is especially important to speak words of life if you have the habit of thinking or speaking negative and even insulting words about yourself. One Problem The wonderful affirmations may momentarily make...
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How To Find a Secure Hope
In what do you place your hope? Perhaps it's success. A great career. Making a fortune. Being loved or having children. If it is something transient, you have placed your hope in something false that can crash and burn. In my thirties, I felt full of hope. Married,...
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How To Rebuild A Strong Boundary To Keep You Safe
Sometimes life tears down the boundary fences that keep out danger. Unless we are proactive and rebuild a healthy fence, we won’t feel safe or find courage to embrace the abundant life. When I moved to Nebraska, my life was in shambles. In the midst of some difficult...
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4 Things Abuse Teaches and How To Overcome the Victim Mindset
Abuse and the Victim Mindset Abuse is a teacher that lays a foundation of lies and limiting beliefs. Those beliefs control your thoughts, cause you to self-reject, teach you to be a victim, and dictate all your reactions. Abuse is powerful. There's good news! You have...
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Signs a Relationship is Becoming Toxic
If you are in a relationship where you're not accepted for who you are; you aren't treated with respect; your boundaries are ignored; you are being manipulated, mocked, humiliated, and even victimized – you need to know – the Lord doesn’t approve of what is happening....
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What is Abuse and Why Do We Avoid Talking About It?
It’s uncomfortable to talk about abuse. It takes courage to name the abuse and to speak the truth about what happened.
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Abuse Doesn’t Have the Authority to Shape Your Identity
Power Vs. Authority Abuse has power to shape you but it doesn’t have authority to determine who you become. Abuse says you have no value. Tha's a lie. Abuse has no authority to tell you who you are. My dear friend, you are so much more than what happened to you. Are...
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It’s Ok To Be Where You Are
A Rescue Mission I want to share a secret. For you to get unstuck or be set free from whatever is holding you in bondage – you have to learn to be where you are – in the moment. And being present, it is important to be able to open your mouth and ask for help when...
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Transformation: What It Is and Isn’t
Transformation Have you ever wondered what transformation is about? Or pondered why it has become the buzzword among life coaches and public speakers? In Latin, trans means across or through and forma means to form. To transform means there is change that cuts across...
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In Honor of True Friendship
Loss of a True Friend On February 7th, 1979, my beloved child, Charissa died, a victim of SIDS. Since that day, many I loved have died. Tragically, the arch enemy cancer has stolen the lives of many of my friends and family, including my grandmother, Aunt Winnie, Aunt...
read moreAbout Barbara
Restoring dignity and hope to trauma survivors.
As a trauma survivor, Barbara finds joy in helping people experience healing and spiritual restoration.
